Can you imagine if dogs were as fixated (and prejudiced) with different breeds the way we are with race and nationality?
| Dog: | I'm not breedist, but... |
| Dog: | You know you're pretty civilized and well-trained. I mean, for a pit bull. No offense. ...WHAT, THAT'S A COMPLIMENT! |
| Dog: | Hey, you're a Collie, right? So you're good at herding, right? |
| Dog: | I freaking hate Bichons, but damn their bitches are fine. |
| Dog: | It's because I'm a Chow, isn't it? |
| Dog: | I knew it. As soon as those Great Danes moved in next door, bam - our property values went right down. |
| Dog: | Freaking illegal chihuahuas, crossing the border, having their puppies here! I bet you anything that the tags they're wearing? Completely forged. |
| Dog: | I know it's a part of their culture, but, like...I don't know, it just really creeps me out the way English Sheepdogs keep their eyes all covered up. I mean, like, they're just so obviously oppressed, not like us. At least we Shetland Sheepdogs are treated equally, you know? Like they should just all get shaves, all of them, so at least they're free, y'know? |
| Dog: | Hey, bulldog. You know we saved your asses in World War II, right? |
| Dog: | Hey, poodle. You know we saved your asses in World War II, right? |
| Dog: | Hey, dachschund. You know we kicked your asses in World War II, right? |
| Dog: | Hey, Shiba Inu. You know we kicked your asses in World War II, right? Looking kawaii, though. |
| Dog: | *Gives birth to litter of black Scottish Terriers, prompty disowned by white Westie relatives and friends* |
| Dog: | Yeah, but - at least Golden Retrievers LOOK like us, y'know? Anyone with floppy ears is okay in my book, it's the pointed ears you gotta watch out for. |
| Dog: | Wait, if you're from Africa...why are you a Great Pyrenees? |
| Dog: | Oh my dog, Fluffy, you can't just ask dogs why they're Pyrenees! |
| Dog: | *Sees a Dalmatian walking toward them; crosses the street in order to NOT sniff their butt* |
| Dog: | Afghans are violent barbarians who just hate freedom. |
| Dog: | Gay or just a Maltese Terrier? Hard to tell the difference. |
| Dog: | A pug who's good at fetch? Haha, that'll be the day. |
| Dog: | You only like Beethoven because he's a St. Bernard like you. |
| Dog: | I just worry about our safety with a Bassett Hound living in the house. You know how they are. I mean at least a Husky would be a real bro and be able to reach the treat jar. |
| Dog: | We don't take kindly to terriers around these parts. |
| Dog: | Have you noticed how many corgis come to this park now? I swear to dog, it's like I'm not even in my own country anymore. |
| Dog: | But I'm not breedist. |
| Dog: | I don't see breed. |
